No Sex
by coprime
Summary: A different perspective on Duo and Heero's relationship. Not a happy fic. mm


Title: No Sex  
  
Pairing: Duo/Heero  
  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and everything associated with it do not belong to me. They belong to someone else. No money is being made off of this. The lyrics are from the song "No Sex" by Limp Bizkit.  
  
Summary: A different perspective on Duo and Heero's relationship.  
  
Warnings: Angst and abuse. In other words, not a happy fic.  
  
Notes: I like this song and I was tired of Heero always being the abusive one in the relationship. It's time Duo got his turn! Lyrics are in //. From Heero's point of view.  
  
Feedback: Yes please. If I don't know what was bad, it ain't ever gonna get better.  
  
~No Sex~  
  
//Went too fast   
Way too soon //  
  
That first night after he had rescued me from OZ, we had sex. I don't know who was surprised more, him or me. After, he got out of the bed and left me. I know I should have stopped it all right then; it complicated the mission. But I so wanted for someone to care for me, I thought we'd be able to balance work and passion. Too bad he didn't feel passion for me.  
  
//I feel disgusted and you should too   
It's no good when all that's left is the sex //  
  
During the war, we made love whenever possible. Well, it was love for me. Fucking for him. Too bad I didn't know that that was all it was to him. I should have figured it out. He never spent the entire night with me, never cuddled or did anything soft. He wasn't abusive then, just efficient.  
  
//Sex has become all I know about you   
Memories of those filthy things that we do //  
  
Now, the war's over. We share an apartment and sex, but that's it. Oddly enough, he's still the same talkative Duo that he showed the others. They feel sympathy for Duo, seeing me as the unfeeling one. If only they knew. Despite his talking, Duo never says anything of substance. And if I try to get him to, he merely walks away.  
  
//There is not one single thought that is left after sex with you //  
  
Now, I wait for him to get home from work. He makes me stay home, only allowing me to go outside if we have company of some sort. I know I should leave, that this isn't healthy, but I can't. He holds me in his grasp with my faint hope for love instead of sex. Never happens and I know it won't, but I keep hoping anyway.  
  
//Should've left my pants on this time   
But instead you had to let me dive right in   
Should've left my pants on this time   
You let me dive right in //  
  
And speak of the devil, he's home. I can hear the front door opening. Immediately after coming in, he walks over to me and pushes me up against a table, never saying a word. So, that's how tonight's gonna go; he doesn't have the time for a bed. Quickly, so as not to upset him, I pull down his pants and my shorts.  
  
//Wait... it's my ass   
Your perfume  
It makes temptation hard to refuse //  
  
I can smell his shampoo, his sweat, that odor that is uniquely him surrounding me, and I give in to the arousal I feel. He growls, making the hairs on my neck stand up. He yanks my head down to suck his cock until it's fully aroused. As soon as he feels I've done enough, he lifts me up and places me on the edge of the wobbly table. With one stroke, he's inside of me, tearing my body in half.  
  
//So I guess we undressed   
To have sex   
Dirty sex //  
  
It's not as painful as it used to be. My body's gotten used to being used. A small trickle of blood still slides down my thigh though. His hard, long strokes make the table sway back and forth. I count each stroke as he enters my body. One...two...three...four...five. And now he's coming in my ass. His seed mixes with my blood covering his deflated cock and turning it an interesting color as he pulls it out.  
  
//Sex has become all I know about you   
Memories of those filthy things that we do //  
  
I'm pushed aside as he refastens his pants and heads back to the door. I make a movement towards him, reaching out. He sees it and turns around. In one fluid movement, he bitch-slaps me. When his back is facing me once more, I bring one hand up to my cheek, feeling the skin that is already starting to swell and redden.  
  
//There is not one single thought that is left after sex with you //  
  
He's gone now. Back to his job, working late. Listlessly, I go to the bathroom and retrieve some medicated cream for my cheek. As an afterthought, I go to my bedroom and change clothes. The others now need to be washed.  
  
//Should've left my pants on this time   
But instead you had to let me dive right in   
Should've left my pants on this time   
You let me dive right in //  
  
The next morning, he tells me that Quatre and Trowa are coming to visit us. He tells me that I'd better pretty myself up and not hint anything to the other couple, or else I'd regret it. I knew he spoke the truth. The first time the couple had come over, I'd try to bring their attention to the fact that there was a problem, but they didn't understand. Duo did however and that night, while they were at the hotel, Duo had hit me so hard and so many times that I couldn't be seen by anyone the next day. Quatre and Trowa blindly accepted the excuse that I was sick. Now, I just put up my emotionless mask left over from the war. And none of them can see through it, except for Duo.  
  
//How can you respect yourself  
You couldn't respect yourself   
I couldn't respect myself //  
  
They're here now. The mark on my cheek has faded, thanks to the cream. Easily, too easily really, I close my soul off and put up my mask of indifference. At dinner, eaten in a cheap restaurant, Duo is talking and laughing, recounting made-up stories of our living together. Quatre giggles along with Duo and beside him Trowa smiles fondly. Neither realizes that the stories have changed from their last visit. When I try to excuse myself from their laughter for a minute, Duo gets up and comes along with me.  
  
//I realize that I'm worth more than that   
Realize I mean more than that //  
  
Thankfully, the bathroom's empty. Unthankfully, it's small and cramped, especially with Duo crowding me up into a wall. He looks at me with a predatory gleam in his eyes. I don't move, only staring at him impassively. He reaches out and cups my chin in his hand, smirking at me. He leans in even closer and whispers in my ear, telling me exactly what everyone thinks of us. How they pity Duo for falling for such an unresponsive bastard, how Heero should be more open and caring because everyone else Duo's loved has died and now he's all alone in the world except for Heero.  
  
//Should've left my pants on this time   
But instead you had to let me dive right in //  
  
I know that what they say is at least partially true. Duo is all alone except for me. What no one else knows is how Duo's past has hardened his heart, excluding everything from it but resentment and hate. I draw a shuddering breath as Duo pulls away, letting me breathe. He leaves the bathroom, going back to our table. I stay inside a few more moments till my thoughts are composed once more. Then I go and join him, always by his side.  
  
//Should've left my pants on this time   
You let me dive right in // 


End file.
